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Wednesday, June 30, 2010'♥

HELLO!
I AM A COMPUTER IDIOT!




So super annoyed, with the zip files and livejournal.
I can't get the size and the fonts I want, and I am really annoyed.
And all this makes me more hungry than ever!
I have to stop eating so much. I need to go jogging too!
I need all the determination I can get.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JJ!
Went for JJ"s birthday party last friday, with darling & Joel.
YOU 2 SO FULL OF SHIT. HAHAHA.
Look at my arms ):
SIGH.

I'll be back.
I need to find some way to cure my boredom,















blogged @ 7:19 PM



Saturday, June 12, 2010'♥

今天期中考,学校早一点放学,我打了通电话给他。
  
:喂,我今天比较早放学,你来载我回家好不好?   
:好,等我五分钟。   
:五分钟?我学校就在你家旁边耶。  
:我总要打扮一下啊。   
:好啦,快一点喔。  

下午2:00,太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血,我站在树荫下挥动着手,虽然没凉到哪里去,但是煽总比不煽好。  
五分钟过了,他还没来,我看看手表,有点不高兴,十分钟过了,他还没到..,该不会出了什么事吧?
呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴,十五分钟过了,他总算到了。
 
:怎么这么慢?   
他一副无所谓的样子说:没啊,看个电视。  
什么?看个电视?你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来?
我没有说话,没有拿安全帽,没有上车的瞪着他。   
:对不起。   

这是他第一次对我说对不起,他是一个很大男人主义,爱面子的男生,所以他从不像女生低头说对不起,我看着他,好吧,似乎面有惭色,我带上安全帽,让他载我回家。   
他总是这样,从来不解释,不争论,不跟我吵架,只跟我说对不起,有些事,不是一句对不起就能解决的,但是他都跟我道歉了,我也就没再追究下去,他说,我是第一个让他说对不起的女生。   
认错需要很大的勇气,但是他从来都没有改进他的错误,对不起反而变成一种打发我的话。在他说第59次对不起时,我流着泪,低下头说:你不要再跟我说对不起了,如果你无法改变,就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会,相信你会改变。他轻轻的拥着我,说了第60句对不起。   
虽然如此,他还是没有改变,不做任何的解释,我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我。   

:你最近怎么了?   
:没有啊。   
:那你为什么心情不好?   
:没有啊。   
:又是没有啊,你除了这句话以外没有别的吗?你知不知道我很担心,很没有安全感,你到底有没有当我是你女朋友?   
:...对不起。   
:我不要听你说对不起。   
我挂了电话,他也没有打来,他根本就不在乎我,也许,我们该结束ㄌ..........这是他说的第99句对不起....。   
从那天开始,我再也没有找过他,他也没有打电话给我,有时候,我会接到一通无声的电话,但是我喂了几声,就挂了,有一种直觉是他,但是他为什么都不说话?一个月之后,我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他,我在教室外东张西望的,就是没有看到他的人影,我随便抓了一个男生来问。  
 
:同学,请问一下,梦伟今天有来吗?   
:他休学了。   
:啊?为什么?什么时候的事?   
:他已经一个月没来了。   
:...喔..谢谢。一个月..一个月没来,怎么会呢?   

我跌跌撞撞的回到家..拨他的手机:您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱,请在嘟一声...。我挂了电话,打到他家,响了好久都没有人接,怎么会?全家移民吗?他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样,没有一点痕迹。   他该不会另结新欢了吧?我开始胡思乱想,我找不到他..,正当我烦恼的时候,电话突然响了,是阿立打来的,他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友。
  
:喂,你还在干嘛啊?   
:什么?   
:ㄚ伟在医院啦。   
:真的?他怎么了?   
:没有啦,他在○○医院,就是你上次住的那一家。   
:我马上去。   

我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院,在医院看到了他****和妈妈,我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后,就急忙的飞奔而去。   
他躺在床上,眼睛看着我,没有说话,没有起床,一动也不动的。
  
:喂,你怎么了?为什么不通知我呢?   
他没有回答我,只是一直用同样的眼神看着我。   :回答我啊,你为什么不说话?   
他眼角留下了一滴泪,身体仿佛用了最大的力气,牵动着嘴角   :...对不起...。
说完,他闭上了眼睛。   :喂,你别装了好不好,为什么要说对不起,我不要你说对不起啊,你起来啊,回答我啊。   

我哭倒在他床边,拉着他的衣服哭喊着:你为什么要说对不起,连说服我的理由都没有?我不会原谅你,你起来啊,你说对不起没有用啊,你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你,我求求你....睁开眼睛啊...。   这是他说的一百句对不起...一群医生和护士拉开我,开始抢救他,我全身没有力气再站起来,我的头脑一片空白,眼前一片漆黑..。   他没有离开这个世界,只是我永远都无法触摸到他,但他有时也会在我的梦中出现,告诉我他过的好不好。   
他还是陪着我,还是活着,在我心里,他依然如昔,还是会笑着叫我咏熙,叫我老婆,只是..他不再对我说对不起了...。   
过了几个月,他妈妈来找我,给了我一个盒子,里面装的,是一百张照片,每一张照片的背面,都写着它让我生气的事情。   第一次对不起,老婆,我今天不是故意迟到的,我也知道理由很烂,但是我真的不忍心说实话,我在出门前突然心脏绞痛,但是我已经尽量赶了,原谅我好吗?第二次对不起?老婆,我..........   第三次对不起,老婆,我...   ................................   ............................   ...................   ................   ...........   .........   .....   第一百次对不起,老婆,我不是狠心要丢下你,只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子,为你带上戒指,你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩,也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩,原谅我不能给你幸福,我会化作天使,守护着你,看着你得到幸福,答应我,别哭,我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子,我爱你。bye 梦伟   
我怎么可能不哭,你的要求太严苛了,最后一张照片,是他在医院理拍的,照片上他笑的很灿烂,他变的好瘦,脸色好苍白,但是他还是露出了笑容,拍这第
一百张照片。

blogged @ 4:18 PM



Thursday, June 03, 2010'♥

Lucky shu jetting off to LA again.
Have fun in Japan too, & take good care of yourself, and see you back here in another 17 days (:

I can't wait for the new stocks.
Maxi maxi, and long skirts. Awwww.

I so so so want to go Taiwan! ):

It's already june, i'm getting old.
And, it's worse when most of my customers discussing about university and they're 3 years younger than me. It seemed like only awhile ago when it was me complaining. SPARE ME, TIME ):
And then, you feel all the monetary, studies, family, friends, relationships pressure.
I can't breathe.
And, I know I want & and need more than what I have now, to give myself and my family a better life.

People around are all getting married, soooon in the next few years, it might be my turn, hopefully.
Ahh, and then we have to start worrying about different things.
Cars, house, kids, holidays, insurance, tax, health........it goes on.

Omyg, I don't want to grow older ):
Not thinking about it doesn't mean it won't happen. Argh, headache, bad headache.

**

On a happier note, fatboy's pre-army trip booked.
Trip with the parents in august booked.
Oct booked.
NYE conntdown, out usual routine in taiwan.
Ah, and I so want t go taiwan with shu in July ):
But school's starting in July and i am going to be busy busy busy.
Thought of hiring someone to tend the shop so I can go back to work.
I like the stress, I like the pressure.

I'm psycho. HAHA

blogged @ 3:57 PM



Wednesday, June 02, 2010'♥

I feel so drained.

Because I never thought love would be so hard.
Because I like things to be simple.
Because I believe we had a mutual understanding.
Because I thought we are happy.

But, again.
Happiness had always been a choice, we just kept going on a different route, that's all.

Maybe we lost our way.

Because we used to be happy.
Because we used to get along so well.
Because I thought I will spend my life with you.
Because you make me happy.

I don't know.

I feel like running away.
I wanna go taiwan.

blogged @ 3:50 PM







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