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Monday, May 29, 2006'♥

Im feeling like shit now. I was looking through all my previous entries &realised that i havent been hanging out with loads of people nowadays. Havent even been talking, much less meeting, all d people who used t b so close t me. It seems like we've all went our own separate ways &i dont even know a single shit that is going on in anybody's life. I didnt even know my "bestfriend" had a boyfriend until recently, when i met her after 5months. We dont even chat on d phone like we used t anymore &when i called her d other day, she was too involved with all her new friends &everything t even talk t me. She went like "I'll call you back later alright.? " but didnt after all. We've been missing out on each other's life. Not only her, I dont contact around 1/4 of d contacts anymore if you were t browse through my phonebook. I mean we still do update each other on what're we doing &everything but that's all.

I love my clique though. (:
They're always there. I LOVE THEM. Im not saying this because it looks nice or anything, i said it cause i mean it.I really treasure them A LOT. &i believe we'll all still b close friends even when w're old &everything. (:
It feels good saying that man. so if you guys are reading this, better drop me a tag or sms saying that you love me too OK.!! hehh. evil. (:

&my parents. Im a very family-orientated person &i really love them A LOT. They're like everything t me &i dont want t make my dad disappointed in me again. I had done so much things that they didnt even expect me t do. I broke their trust &made them worry 4me like hell.
I took d car out &drove without a license &when daddy found something's wrong with d car, they chose t believe me. I feel real stupid 4doing all those stuff &I swear t God i wont do that ever again &i have learnt how t choose friends properly &so much more. &when my friend crashed d car, daddy didnt even scold me &that made me feel even more guilty then ever. When i heard from his friend that he actually said not t mention about that again, just as long as his daughter is fine, it's alright. I cried for days. I promised him that i'll b a good girl &everything, i was so totally traumatised by that accident. I broke my promise yet again. I hanged out till late at night &i still club on weekends. I'll only reach home in d morning. Im actually quite sick of this kind of life whereby i cant even have a proper conversation with my family &we dont hang out on sundays like we used t already. I want things t b what it used t b &this is not what i want t do with my life. My dad will still try t satisfy all my material needs. He never ever said NO t me in d face, only my mum do that. I do know how much they cares for me &they dont want t see me being norturnal. Being like some vampire, sleeping in d morning, waking up in d afternoon &active at night. I dont like it either, I just need more time t change my biological clock. I dont want my family members t shake their heads whenever they see me &telling my parents that they've t do something. They tried all they can but im just some stubborn freak. I feel bad about it &i have t do something with my life before it's too late t do anything. Im going t cut down on late nights out &everything.

Sorry for sounding like a loser.
bye.

blogged @ 7:42 AM







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