Sunday, July 27, 2008'♥
I cannot remember what I did last week and earlier this week.
Went for Jerlyn's wake on Wednesday.
Her cremation was on Thursday.
We stayed through the night to accompany her.
It was really sad.
Especially during the cremation.
I am still shocked.
Couldn't believe it still.
Nobody to go ga-ga over the mad cow disease with already ):
Went to the accident scene yesterday.
Lamppost 25, right outside esplanade.
Trying to figure out how the accident happened.
But it was all assumptions.
Only Jerlyn and the Kean boon guy knows what really happened.
Sigh.
Quarrelled with Paul yesterday.
Over some really minor stuff.
Like me throwing tantrums over something he said.
Ok, my bad.
But I thought we discussed it before.
When i throw one of my tantrums, he should pacify me.
3 sentences, max.
But he didn't and I didn't want to be the one giving in either.
Why should it always be me.
He just shut me out, and didn't want to talk to me, at all.
It was really annoying and devastating, at the same time.
And only made me more pissed off.
And then, I get really irrational and pessimistic.
I realized, we always quarrel over the same things over and over again.
And I always give in over and over again.
Mayb my stubbornness acted up, or mayb I just didn't want to give in anymore.
I don't know.
I don't want to always be the one crying and begging him to forgive me, when sometimes it isn't my fault.
I've been thinking, whether I had been a good girlfriend.
Of course from my point of view, I am.
But I want to know whether I am one in his view.
I know, I always bring things up from the past when we quarrel, but who doesn't.
I tolerated what he did when he gets drunk.
I tolerated his moody tantrums.
I tried to not argue back whenever he shouts at me.
I always keep quiet when we get mad at each other, so that he can cool down.
I wrote him letters, cards and all.
I thought he will keep them properly.
I numbered every one of them.
I want to ask him where are they but I didn't dared to.
I thought he will treasure them.
Slowly, I just stopped writing.
He don't have the habit of writing notes, I guess.
But I believe I will keep them properly if he did.
I think the most I got from him was 2 testimonials.
It's okay. I don't mind, I guess.
I stopped comparing, it isn't healthy.
Shu says nothing is not forgivable.
I love bestf, she's always been there, someway or another (:
I can always count on her.
Thinking of her puts a smile on my face! Haha.
I remembered when I first got together with Paul, he lied to me and said he already had a girlfriend.
I hung up on him and called Shu and cried.
She called Paul and screamed at him for making me cry.
We shared so much memories (:
Went for Jerlyn's wake on Wednesday.
Her cremation was on Thursday.
We stayed through the night to accompany her.
It was really sad.
Especially during the cremation.
I am still shocked.
Couldn't believe it still.
Nobody to go ga-ga over the mad cow disease with already ):
Went to the accident scene yesterday.
Lamppost 25, right outside esplanade.
Trying to figure out how the accident happened.
But it was all assumptions.
Only Jerlyn and the Kean boon guy knows what really happened.
Sigh.
Quarrelled with Paul yesterday.
Over some really minor stuff.
Like me throwing tantrums over something he said.
Ok, my bad.
But I thought we discussed it before.
When i throw one of my tantrums, he should pacify me.
3 sentences, max.
But he didn't and I didn't want to be the one giving in either.
Why should it always be me.
He just shut me out, and didn't want to talk to me, at all.
It was really annoying and devastating, at the same time.
And only made me more pissed off.
And then, I get really irrational and pessimistic.
I realized, we always quarrel over the same things over and over again.
And I always give in over and over again.
Mayb my stubbornness acted up, or mayb I just didn't want to give in anymore.
I don't know.
I don't want to always be the one crying and begging him to forgive me, when sometimes it isn't my fault.
I've been thinking, whether I had been a good girlfriend.
Of course from my point of view, I am.
But I want to know whether I am one in his view.
I know, I always bring things up from the past when we quarrel, but who doesn't.
I tolerated what he did when he gets drunk.
I tolerated his moody tantrums.
I tried to not argue back whenever he shouts at me.
I always keep quiet when we get mad at each other, so that he can cool down.
I wrote him letters, cards and all.
I thought he will keep them properly.
I numbered every one of them.
I want to ask him where are they but I didn't dared to.
I thought he will treasure them.
Slowly, I just stopped writing.
He don't have the habit of writing notes, I guess.
But I believe I will keep them properly if he did.
I think the most I got from him was 2 testimonials.
It's okay. I don't mind, I guess.
I stopped comparing, it isn't healthy.
Shu says nothing is not forgivable.
I love bestf, she's always been there, someway or another (:
I can always count on her.
Thinking of her puts a smile on my face! Haha.
I remembered when I first got together with Paul, he lied to me and said he already had a girlfriend.
I hung up on him and called Shu and cried.
She called Paul and screamed at him for making me cry.
We shared so much memories (:
blogged @ 3:10 PM